Can we ever be sure of making the right decision?

Whenever one is asked to improve oneself, you would be perfectly correct in assuming that any knowledge gained, would also extend your skill and judgement in making decisions.

QUOTE: “If you motivate an idiot with enthusiasm, all you get is a motivated idiot. You need to educate first.” (Jim Rohn)

photo courtesy: Jim Rohn

To self develop in any manner whatsoever we must therefore be aware that education is a much needed ingredient. We must also be aware that there are dozens of opportunities each day to advance our knowledge, but often they simply pass us by.

Instead of puffing and panting and being troubled by your daily events we need to see our day as invigorating and challenging. If we remain positive there is little that would stop our stride. Yet on the other hand if we become negative our ‘today’ follows the same pattern as yesterday.

QUOTE: “You are what you repeatedly do. Excellence is not an event - it is a habit.” (Aristotle, 384-322 BC, Greek Philosopher and Scientist)

QUOTE: “Too many of us believe the world is to be discovered, rather than a product of our own construction and thus to be invented.” (”Counter Clockwise” by Ellen J Langer (2009))

So the reality to study is that if we don’t continually self develop; each day will be the same. Perhaps a few different situations along the way but we fall back into the same old thought pattern that never resolves anything. We must remember therefore to expect a new challenge each and every day, wait in anticipation and be invigorated by its attendance.

In being positive we SEE the opportunities arise.

This story illustrates an important event that helped educate. From this knowledge a greater understanding of compassion; plus the importance of living in the NOW became tools that were never forgotten.

DARYLE, I’VE GOT A BUNCH OF THEM

They were in all different sizes, ranks and poses. They were even on different sides. They were miniature Revolutionary War soldiers made out of pewter. They were well-crafted and amazing things to see. They were given to me and I took them, without even mumbling a “much obliged.”

My older cousin, Daryle, had given them to me. Daryle was all dressed up in his army uniform. He looked even more impressive than the little soldiers. I didn’t really want the little soldiers he offered me, but I took them. Daryle was older that I was and, as my elder, he deserved some respect. I was at that awkward age when it came to such things. I was too old to play with the small troops and too young to really appreciate them. The only material things I was interested in at that age were my baseball glove, my GE transistor radio with the earplugs and my dream car, that I would be much too young to drive, even if I could afford to buy it.

My mother always told me that a person can never be too thankful. Even with that wonderful instruction, I had neglected to thank Daryle for the little soldiers. I wish my mother had taken them from me, along with my old comic books and baseball cards, and told me that she would give them back to me when I turned 30, in the hopes that I would have developed a brain by then.

I had a Springfield single-shot .22 rifle. I wanted to practice with it. Daryle had shown me his marksmanship badge and I thought maybe I could earn myself one of those one day. He was plenty proud of that badge and told me that it had taken a lot of practice to get it.

A decent target cost good money and I wasn’t much of a hunter, so the little soldiers were the perfect prey for me. I set the little army men up on a rock pile and then began picking them off one-by-one with my Springfield rifle. The shooting did wonders for my marksmanship,

but it didn’t do the little pewter figures much good. Soon they were all gone — shot to pieces — yet another item tossed upon my life’s scrap heap.

Time passed. I had forgotten all about the tiny pewter soldiers until I received word that Daryle had been killed in Vietnam. The day he gave me the little soldiers was the last day I was to ever see Daryle alive. He left a wife and two young children. I wanted to bring Daryle back. I wanted to bring those little army men back. I never did thank Daryle for those little soldiers.

Perhaps playing with the little soldiers is what made Daryle want to make the Army his career. I will never know. Since that day that I learned of Daryle’s death, I try very hard to thank everyone for everything. Sometimes I forget, but I try real hard.

Some years ago, I made a trip to Washington, DC, and visited the Vietnam Memorial. I was going to make rubbings of Daryle’s name on the Memorial Wall, keeping one for myself and giving the rest to a number of my aunts. I was doing okay at this task until a little blond haired girl, wearing a white dress, put a flower at the base of a row of names.

This little girl, probably the grandchild of one of the deceased, brought back a flood of memories for me. She caused me to give much thought to Daryle and some to those little Revolutionary War soldiers made out of pewter, as I stood by that Wall. I cried as I made a rubbing of Daryle’s name from that Wall of names of people who died doing their duty in the jungles of a foreign land. It took me a number of attempts before I was able to finish making the rubbings. I never thanked Daryle for the little pewter soldiers. I never thanked Daryle for serving this country well, for being willing to die for all of us back home.

For some reason, I know that whenever I thank a veteran, that Daryle hears me and understands that I am thanking him, too.

(Al Batt)

QUOTE: “If you don’t have a vision for the future, then your future is threatened to be a repeat of the past.”
(A. R. Bernard, Clergyman)

Excellence in Self Development

Andy Bolton - Wisdom and Philosophy

How Authority Affects Us All…

I have mentioned before the word ‘authority’. It is something that can be said and that you take very specific notice of it, mainly because of the source of the comment.

If you had a problem and consulted a close friend, they may advise you to take a certain action, but due to their lack of authority you will not take their advice.

This problem you have may for example need to be diagnosed by a doctor. Now especially in medical cases it would appear that the right authority is the doctor. It is very unlikely that anyone could give you the same conviction in their diagnosis.

Yet in other areas of our life CHILDREN have a knack of giving you the nudge, giving you the impulse to take the next action, when no other person had the courage or the authority to do so.

This next story is proof of the very situation in action.

I’LL HOLD YOUR HAND

Last year I had surgery to remove a tumour from my thyroid gland. I had staples across the front of my neck for a week afterward (a true Frankenstein look) and then a very angry looking red scar after the staples were removed.

Since I couldn’t tolerate a collar against the wound, I became very creative at wearing scarves.

My granddaughter Caitlynd, three and a half years old at the time, also started wearing scarves. The two of us had a grand time picking out the perfect scarves for our outfits and finding unique ways to tie them.

As I opened my closet door to choose our scarves for Caitlynd’s fourth birthday, my precious granddaughter put her hand on my forearm and said, “Let’s not wear a scarf today.”

Looking into her serious little face, I took a deep breath and closed the closet door. On the way out of the house, I took a quick look in the mirror and felt the tears rise in my eyes.

Her birthday party was a big affair and I knew people were going to stare at my now, bright pink scar and whisper about it behind their hands. To this day, I don’t know if Caitlynd saw the well of tears I fought back or sensed my hesitant mood, but as we walked out the door she said, “Don’t worry Grammy, I’ll hold your hand.” And she did, all day long. I haven’t worn a scarf since.

(Terri McPherson )

QUOTE: “The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.”

(Eden Phillpotts, 1862 – 1960, Indian-born British Novelist).

Jim Rohn - an amazing speaker. He has so many attributes that words cannot easily explain, but one thing for sure is that his explanations of developing the SELF have astonishing results.

His uncanny approach is unlike other mentors, but the stories and beliefs he has ring true. Wisdom and Philosophy can have unwritten rules, but when a TRUTH is spoken you KNOW of its clarity. Jim Rohn tends to give many moments of KNOWING.

Please enjoy these few moments:

I hope you enjoyed Jim Rohn - please stay around and visit more stories and videos on this site.

Jim Rohn

Andy Bolton Wisdom and Philosophy

One important principle in wisdom I have learnt, and that is to never TRY and remember a quote or TRY to remember a story. Always get the exact phrase or story and read it as is… Certain words and phrases have power … and cannot be reproduced by trimming the edges or changing the plot slightly.

The Dalai Lama speaks many words of wisdom and here is a video you’ll enjoy.

I hope you enjoyed the video … Please visit other short wisdom stories and places upon this website for more intriguing wisdom and philosophy.

The Dalai Lama

Andy Bolton - wisdom and Philosophy

I have found that a GOOD PHILOSOPHY will reap more dividends than relying on any other eventuality.

Your PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY is paramount … you should police this yourself with a strong will. My early mentor JIM ROHN speaks in this video about Personal Development … Rather than describe further allow Jim to explain the process.

I hope you enjoyed the video, there will be more of Jim in the weeks to come.

Personal Philosophy

Andy Bolton

HAPPINESS:

Happiness is having what you really want, or is it? Or is it allowing OTHERS to have what they really want?

To WANT happiness yourself is fine, but it is how you achieve it or plan it that really counts. It is not the destination that is important but the journey.

If you was to travel to your promised land to find happiness, you are instantly limiting yourself to no further happiness until you arrive. It is as EQUALLY important to allow happiness to arise upon the journey.

Photo Courtesy: nlpu.com

Notice the word ALLOW and how integral that word is to those first few paragraphs. Don’t restrict or confine; allow!

If you are not happy all of the time, then at least be assured that this is how most people exist. It is how most of us seem to perceive our humdrum existence.

Yet however, we can improve this ratio of understanding with practice. With a steady progress we can also become skilful at being happy for longer and more often.

Let me explain with a story how easy it is to approach life in the wrong manner. If you can raise a smile at this story, you’ll be aware that this type of anger exists within your own soul.

REVENGE

…Once upon a time, there was a wise man who insisted that to live well, one had to be positive and thankful for all of life.

One day, a traveller came to him and said, “How can I be positive? Nothing goes right in life! I’ve been badly hurt by people I have trusted, and now I want revenge!”

The wise man shook his head. “What would you do to those that hurt you?” he asked.

“I’d tear them limb from limb… I’d ruin their business… I’d…” and he broke off. “Can you help me get revenge?” he begged.

“Yes’” said the wise man. “I’ll certainly help you, but first you must do two things for me.”

“I will,” said the traveller.

“First,” said the wise man, “I want you to tear a branch off that tree over there.”

The traveller readily went to the tree and twisted off a large branch. “There you are! What’s the second thing?”

The wise man smiled. “Now put it back,” he said.

The traveller stood staring. “I can’t do that,” he said.

“No,” said the wise man. “So remember this; it’s very easy to wound and destroy, but it is more difficult to repair the damage that has been done. Note that the tree won’t hurt you back. It will go on growing and bearing fruit. It’s much better to be creative than destructive - - even to people that have hurt you.”…

For every moment you want revenge, and then realise it is both pitiful and destructive, there is a moment of sweetness soon after; as you settle for a positive attitude instead of a negative.

Rather than wallow in your own sadness, rejoice in the skill you have developed to overcome your revenge.

(Unknown Author)

QUOTE: “Just as a trainer disciplines and calms a wild and wilful steed by subjecting it to skilful and prolonged training, so must the wild, wandering, random activities of body and speech be tamed to make them docile, righteous and skilful.”

(His Holiness the Dalai Lama).

ADAPTING TO CHANGE:

When you take on a new role or new profession you can easily become a different person. What suddenly happens is that your new role consumes your old identity. What you need to do is ADAPT TO CHANGE.

This all consuming act may not be seen within a day, but it may be seen within a month.

With all due respect to graduates, as we feature one within today’s story, they may well be academic, but most every person suffers the trials and tribulations of our emotions.

Photo Courtesy: ox.ac.uk

The Oxford graduate is succumbed by his own career and its very purpose, so much so he cannot see the obvious. It is almost as if he is wearing blinkers. This very trait, of not recognising when our emotions bulldoze our thought pattern, will only lead to headstrong decisions. Allow this next illustration to explain the problem in a regular day to day event.

A SIMPLE LIFE

An Oxford businessman was at a local bar when a small band of musicians were just finishing a gig. Inside the small pub was a very large audience who had been pleased immeasurably. The Oxford graduate complimented the Barnsley musician and lead singer on the quality of his performance and vocal talent and asked how long it had taken to become so accomplished.

The Barnsley musician replied only a little while.

The Oxford graduate then asked why didn’t he perform more often and earn more money?

The Barnsley musician said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.

The Oxford graduate then asked the Barnsley musician how he spent the rest of his time.

The Barnsley man said, “I sleep late, I practice a little music, play with my children, take an afternoon nap with my wife, Yvonne, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my comrades. I have a full and busy life, sir.”

The Oxford graduate scoffed, “I am an Oxford Graduate in business Studies, with honours, and could help you. You should spend more time practicing and performing your skill, with the proceeds, buy bigger and better sound and lighting equipment. With the proceeds of a better sound, you could encourage the best musicians in the region to join your band; eventually you would have a masterful band who commands a huge fee. Instead of selling your services to the local pub, you could sell yourself onto the club circuit, then onto the theatre circuit and before long you could be supporting an international band. You would control the production and eventually write your own songs that could earn you millions around the world.

“You would need to leave this small village you call Barnsley and move to London, then New York, Sydney and Los Angeles where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Barnsley musician asked, “But sir, how long will this all take?”

To which the Oxford graduate replied, “3 - 6 years.”

“But what then, sir?” asked the Barnsley man.

The Oxford graduate laughed, and said, “That’s the best part! When the time is right, you would announce your band upon the stock market and sell your company stock to the public. You’ll become very rich; you would make millions upon millions!”

“Millions, sir?” replied the Barnsley musician, “Then what?”

“Once you had all that money and freedom, what would YOU do?” Said the Oxford graduate.

The Barnsley musician replied, “Sir I would retire. Move to the small village life, as I experience here in Barnsley, where I would sleep late, practice a little music, play with my kids, take an afternoon nap with my wife, Yvonne, stroll to the village in the evenings where I could sip wine and play my guitar with my comrades.”

(Adapted by the Editor)

QUOTE: “Very little is needed to make life happy. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”

(Marcus Aurelius)

Photo Courtesy: bbc.co.uk

LOVE OF WISDOM:

Wisdom is a strange subject, what may be right for one person isn’t always right for another. What is equally important, other than the wisdom being right for you, is that is empowers you.

When reading these stories of wisdom, you may understand the wisdom being expressed but it may not suit your lifestyle. This is how we must expect it to be. But if a particular piece of editorial empowers your soul and it shakes your very roots, then we need to be thankful for this encounter.

If you were in a situation and the very best possible result, was your happiness, yet as you study the worst possible scenario, this results in your happiness too. This may not happen too often, but what you have done is think positive. When others may strive for greatness and finish up with the opposite of their desire, they can almost certainly expect sadness and depression.

Photo Courtesy: securities.utah.gov

Try and see the good in everything. If you have two possible solutions to a problem and the outcome doesn’t depend on you, then if you have the ability to make the most of whatever is presented to you, you’ll survive happier.

The illustrated story is a tussle with circumstances. But accepting them rather than fight them has proven in this example to be more fulfilling.

MAMA’S ADVICE

Last Friday I came home from work and as I entered my home, I realised that someone had been in the house. As I walked through the house assessing the damage, I found polished furniture, made and changed beds, vacuum and mopped floors, clean bathrooms, laundered and folded clothes, a sparkling kitchen - in general I had a very clean house. I assure you that this is not how I had left my house that morning.

I immediately knew that my daughter had visited and cleaned my house for me. Of course, I was elated but I also felt bad because I knew what a sacrifice it was for her to do this, with three children, a business and a house of her own to manage.

As I was looking at all the deeds she had done, I suddenly heard my mama’s voice in my ear screaming at me, “Will you ever learn this lesson?” I realized then that I was going around unconsciously moving things and putting them in their ‘proper order.’ The lesson that my mental ear was hearing was some advice my mama gave me when I got married.

“If your husband helps you in the house doing anything, never go behind him and change it. When I was first married, your daddy would help me by making the beds, washing dishes or whatever. I never liked the way he did it, so I always went behind him and did it my way. Before long, he stopped helping me and never offered to help me with anything else. So, even if it doesn’t meet your standards or is not done your way, accept it as a gift or he will stop giving.”

Boy, did that lesson ring true today and so many other times in my life. Why is that we cannot accept help without wanting to customize it to our way of thinking? As long as the job gets done well, does it really matter how it gets done? I reflected back, and realised that I had a tendency to always change or rearrange things to my way of doing or thinking. Could it be that this had kept me from growth in my life? Could it be that I had failed to see a better way, just because it was not my way? Could I have missed blessings because of my narrow-minded view? Were there others in my life that wanted to help but were afraid their efforts would not meet my standards? Had I made others feel inferior and unimportant because I had to change them to my liking?

Well, I sat down in my clean house, keeping everything just as my daughter had so painstakingly left it, and thanked God for children that loved me and for His grace in giving me one more chance to pass the test. I hope I have learned to follow Mama’s advice this time!

(Maxine Wright)

QUOTE: “The essence of greatness is the ability to choose personal fulfilment in the circumstances where others choose madness.”

(Dr. Wayne W. Dyer., American Psychotherapist, Author, Lecturer).

LOVE:

Love can be an area of fear for many people, yet it is the paradise for others. Why would that be?

It is the viewing, the seeing and the perception.

Photo Courtesy: visualforces.com

QUOTE: “The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it.”

(Richard David Bach)

We all can easily say that in loving someone else we must be careful not to get hurt. But this very resistance to let ourselves go, prohibits any likely advancement and success in love.

As we go through life we have an opportunity to gain from our experiences. If we can do this with a certain degree of success we can call this having WISDOM.

This principle also applies to love, although agreeably the understanding isn’t so simple. But nevertheless we can expect to use wisdom to guide us where necessary.

We must learn to enjoy the moments we encounter together. As humans we have the skill to adjust our life, gain knowledge, gain experience and plot a more fulfilling loving relationship. We are the controller! If we cannot find the knowledge we need to move forward in our reasoning, we must trust in the ‘allowing’. Allow events to happen and go with the flow. This encourages a freedom and ALLOWS a new experience to develop.

Today’s excerpt is one that plots the way to paradise. Discover whether this resembles your proposed route.

MY HEART SPEAKS

Ah, Paradise exists in so very many places. It can be found in a quaint little restaurant, dimly lit by candlelight; on a beach at twilight, with a dinghy’s bell heard in the distance; it exists in a park, on a blanket, spread beneath the trees, with gaiety and laughter heard all around.

It’s a state of mind between two people that occurs when love - sometimes gently and quietly, sometimes with intensity and fervour – enters the threshold of the mind, and swiftly carries them into a warm, revered mood, and a locus* filled with awe.

If you’ve never been to Paradise, it’s Magic - the possibilities, limitless. To get there, you must close your eyes and open your heart; let the real you unfold and blossom. Once Paradise is discovered, your heart and soul will flourish and both will dance in jubilation. You’ll see life in a way you may never have imagined.

It’s metaphorically flying… It’s Euphoria.

Paradise is a way of life between two and is a constant behaviour. It stays steady regardless of what life presents. It takes time and doesn’t happen instantaneously. It must be nurtured and protected, by two mature people who realize life not only has great trials, but also offers tremendous joy, especially when shared.

Yes, everyone wants the fairy tale – to be loved, and love that one special person they have been seeking their whole life. But very few are willing to share their heart and soul in the manner required and, initially perhaps, they don’t realize when they’ve made that connection.

We are a very quick people. We want instant gratification – we want soul connection and instantaneous love. When we don’t get it, we, quite simply, forsake those who offer that which we seek because those offerings may not be readily apparent and take time to unearth. Instead, we choose to take the road most travelled, awaiting the next opportunity; we cling to the hope that Paradise might be found when we knock upon the next available door. Very few want to board the slow train to Paradise, because taking the slow train means being patient. It means not only offering our strengths to support the other’s weaknesses but also accepting the other’s strengths to provide a foundation for our own weaknesses. Taking the slow train means giving freely of ourselves and being open and willingly receptive to the offerings of others.

Where does the slow train go? On a metaphorical flight – to Euphoria.

Ultimate destination? Paradise.

*Locus - a line, plane, or place, every point of which satisfies a given condition and which contains no point that does not satisfy this condition.

(Tami C Ryan, October 20, 2002)

QUOTE: “As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the ‘atomic age’ – as in the being able to remake ourselves.”

(Mohandas Karamchand Ghandi)

THE RIGHT HAND A newly appointed teacher was assigned the duty to handle a class in a school. The teacher who was handling that class had a very bad impression about the students. So she warned the new teacher about them and advised her to be stern, strict, rough and tough from the outset. Influenced by this advice, the new teacher entered the class with a grim face waving a cane to generate fear. The students were frightened seeing her expression. She asked them a question to test their previous knowledge and ordered that those who knew the answer should raise their right hands. Many students raised their right hands. Others who did not know the answer sat still, anticipating her violent reaction. While examining the students, she found that a boy in the last row had raised his left hand instead of his right hand. She assumed it to be an expression of gross misbehaviour and indiscipline, as she was prejudiced by the report of the previous teacher. She noted that he was probably the naughtiest student in the class. In a fit of anger, she rushed to the boy and thrashed him violently with the cane, shouting savagely, hoping that it would be an effective warning to all. The poor child fell down and cried aloud. Then she noted that his right hand was crippled and that was why he raised his left hand instead of his right hand, to show that he knew the answer. The teacher was shocked. She tried her best to pacify the crying child. Later she learned that the child had been a victim of poliomyelitis and used to write with his left hand as his right hand was totally deformed. This incident transformed the teacher. She became friendly with every student, asked them personal questions and learned the names, abilities, defects, special talents and family background of every student in her class. With this personal and affectionate approach she could easily win their appreciation and admiration. She became a very successful teacher and was loved and respected by all her students. Bias and prejudice may impair our judgment and damage human relations. Personal contact with intimate interaction with others is the best method of teaching, catechesis and evangelisation. Love is the language prescribed by Jesus for evangelisation. Jesus said, “Love your neighbour as you love yourself” {Matthew 22:39 }. St. James advises, “Remember this, my dear brothers! Everyone must be quick to listen, but slow to speak and slow to become angry” {James 1: 19 }. St. Paul advises, “If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin….Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you….Get rid of all bitterness, passion, and anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings of any sort. Instead, be kind and tender-hearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ” {Ephesians 4: 26 -32}. By: Dr. Babu Philip, Professor, Cochin University of Science & Technology, Fine Arts Avenue, Kochi-682016, Kerala, India. This is Story No. 156 in this site. Please click ‘Older Posts’ at the bottom of a page to read previous stories and click ‘Newer Posts’ at the bottom of a page to read newer stories in this site. Please click on a word in the ‘Story Themes’ to read stories on that theme.

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